so im not normally such a debbie downer ( its been super bad since we had to move to va lol) but looking at all of the old pics from our life I cant help but be sad. I mean of course im happy cause I love seeing old pics and remembering those times good and bad but I am just thinking how different would life be if one thing had changed. theres a dr.who episode where one small seemingly unimportant decision changed her entire life and therefore everyone around her.
I wonder if that is how it is in real life. I know that doesnt really make sense. But lilys birth for example...anyone who knows me knows im a huge advocate for natural birth. Birth as God or nature intended. no interventions (unless totally medically necessary) and just go with the flow. But her birth I had so many interventions. im not saying they were done against my will. at the time I didnt know any better and trusted every word out of my doctors mouth. but its like could one decision have changed my entire life?
the saying is once a c section always a c section and with zaiden i so badly wanted to have a vbac but the closest midwife that would take me was well over an hour away and in the end we decided that was to risky. so we decided to go with the repeat c section. Zaiden ended up having fluid trapped in his lungs and he had to spend 4 days in the nicu. I didnt get to hold him til he was 4 days old....could that have been prevented by a vaginal birth???
With Auralynn...yes I went into labor at 29 weeks but I had to have her because my uterus ruptured.....I 100% dont think my uterus would have ruptured without my prior c sections.
I understand everything happens for a reason and there is a plan for everything so I am not questions Gods plan but its just a depressing thought that LIly was the only child I got to hold within hours...she is the only one we left the hospital with....she is the only one that didnt have problems when she was born.
in other news it was a great sunday....my hubby took the kiddos(minus the gummi) out to go play at the mall play place so I could get some much needed cleaning done. Its fantastic to have a clean downstairs!!! we then went to the park as a family with one of my besties aluria and another great lady named reyka. The only things that make va not suck as much is my family is here obviously but some of the women I have met restore my faith in humanity. Gummi even got to come out for a bit!! it was a beautiful day so that was really nice.
I also made an amazing dinner and dessert!!!!!
dessert was a "cobbler" I found on pinterest and seriously its amazing and pretty low in points.
you take mixed berries (frozen) or any kind of frozen fruit and then sprinke a cake mix over the entire thing and then pour a can of sprite zero over the top of that and bake at 350 for 45-50 min. it was sooooo good!!!! I had to keep myself from eating the entire thing. ,mmmmmmm ok im making myself hungry again lol
until next time.......
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