or something like it :)
Today was the first day that we did our new schedule. and I will say the kids were super excited when I was explaining to them how the new day was going to go and even respected mommys one hour of cleaning. in the morning we had our breakfast and then did lilys homework and then we did a simple project of tracing their hands and looking at the difference in sizes and coloring them. they were both so proud of their hands and it made me so happy :)
I made sure my kitchen stayed clean, laundry got done, play time was done and even relax time. Made a great dinner and had a great fmaily dinner and some dr who time after. yes my kids love dr who dont judge us.
All in all it was a great day :) im so glad this schedule is going to help. I feel like we will finally be able to fit everything in that we want to and we can all find a balance. made zaidens 3yr well check and even filled out my absentee ballot so I can vote.
by the way my dinner was seriously awesome. pot roast, home made mashed potatoes and mixed veggies. sorry this is somewhat boring im holding a gummi bear so I cant type much. now if I could get her to fall back asleep I could get some sleep too :)
Until next time....
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
some changes must be made
this is most likely going to be another all over the place blog...and there is a reason all my thoughts are all over the place. I have ADHD. most people grow out of it by the time they are adults and I wish I could say I was one of those people...but alas I am not. Anyone who is close with me also knows I suffer with ...well I dont want to say severe anxiety but it is. I am managing it now without meds but some days are way harder than others. anyway im very much a I need a schedule and I need clear goals to accomplish anything and on the other side of that I hate having a schedule and hate being told what to do....lol so im damned if I do and damned if I dont. but I feel like things in my life are getting out of control and chaos and bad parenting are taking over. to much stress, to much to do, not enough patience, not enough time ...im getting overwhelmed and anxious thinking about it. onto something else for now
my kids.....I love love love my kids more then anything in the world and would do anything for them. that being said I must put this into play. to be the best mom I can be I need to make changes. both of my kids have adhd...no they have not been formally diagnosed yet but I wouldnt throw that around just to say it. have it...my husband had it and both of my older kids show all the signs. and im not saying this is a bad thing....just not something I really know how to handle. (God bless you mom for dealing with me and eric) im trying really hard to change my way of parenting because yelling at them, time outs getting angry its not working. I need to find a different way to deal with it while keeping their sanity and trust in me and keeping my sanity. Ive read lots of different things and gotten lots of different opinions on what to do and tonight I came to some conclusions. From now on there will be no more yelling. this is going to be the hardest thing for me because my first reaction is to yell when im angry. its a horrible horrible habit I need to work on because I dont want to spend my life yelling. Also there will be a schedule. starting tomorrow we will be on a full day schedule with of course flexibility to an extent but on a schedule. I think it will help me and them. ive read that routine can help deal with adhd and make them more comfortable.
I know their lives totally changed when Auralynn came early. not only was/is mommy an emotional mess but we were gone every single day even though some days they didnt go with us. they didnt understand why they couldnt see baby sissy and why mommy cried all the time. and now that gummi is home and we cant go anywhere because she cant get sick I know that its hard on the kids and I wish I could change that. since we cant go anywere im going to make sure that staying home is fun. more crafts and more play time and less tv. I have a horrible habit that the tv has to be on all the time. I hate silence and need noise to focus. as weird as that sounds. instead we are going to switch to music. that way we can have dance parties and I get my noise its a win win.
diet changes in the house too. I dont know if we can totally follow the goldfein diet becuase it is really really restricted but I mean what harm can come from eating as naturally as possible? if it doesnt help with the adhd at least it will help with the health :)
the one who is affected the most is my sweet z man. I know that I call him demon boy cause he totally can be....and he can work my every last nerve alllll day but he is really sweet. he likes to share as hard as that is to believe, he is compassionate, he loves his family and friends and asks for them all the time. he just doesnt follow rules or directions and does everything he knows hes not supposed to and is so sad when he gets in trouble. I hate punishing him. I hate seeing his sad little face when he says im sorry mommy...I hate losing my patience with him. I hate being frustrated cause I know he is to. so changes must me made. I dont like the mommy I am becoming and I know they dont either.
I hope all these changes will help....I hope we can all find some fun staying inside. RSV and flu season is about until basically april so we have a looong road ahead of us. but anything to keep gummi bear ssafe and I know next year will be better......im not sure if this blog made any sense or not. its been a tough day. thats all for now
until next time......
my kids.....I love love love my kids more then anything in the world and would do anything for them. that being said I must put this into play. to be the best mom I can be I need to make changes. both of my kids have adhd...no they have not been formally diagnosed yet but I wouldnt throw that around just to say it. have it...my husband had it and both of my older kids show all the signs. and im not saying this is a bad thing....just not something I really know how to handle. (God bless you mom for dealing with me and eric) im trying really hard to change my way of parenting because yelling at them, time outs getting angry its not working. I need to find a different way to deal with it while keeping their sanity and trust in me and keeping my sanity. Ive read lots of different things and gotten lots of different opinions on what to do and tonight I came to some conclusions. From now on there will be no more yelling. this is going to be the hardest thing for me because my first reaction is to yell when im angry. its a horrible horrible habit I need to work on because I dont want to spend my life yelling. Also there will be a schedule. starting tomorrow we will be on a full day schedule with of course flexibility to an extent but on a schedule. I think it will help me and them. ive read that routine can help deal with adhd and make them more comfortable.
I know their lives totally changed when Auralynn came early. not only was/is mommy an emotional mess but we were gone every single day even though some days they didnt go with us. they didnt understand why they couldnt see baby sissy and why mommy cried all the time. and now that gummi is home and we cant go anywhere because she cant get sick I know that its hard on the kids and I wish I could change that. since we cant go anywere im going to make sure that staying home is fun. more crafts and more play time and less tv. I have a horrible habit that the tv has to be on all the time. I hate silence and need noise to focus. as weird as that sounds. instead we are going to switch to music. that way we can have dance parties and I get my noise its a win win.
diet changes in the house too. I dont know if we can totally follow the goldfein diet becuase it is really really restricted but I mean what harm can come from eating as naturally as possible? if it doesnt help with the adhd at least it will help with the health :)
the one who is affected the most is my sweet z man. I know that I call him demon boy cause he totally can be....and he can work my every last nerve alllll day but he is really sweet. he likes to share as hard as that is to believe, he is compassionate, he loves his family and friends and asks for them all the time. he just doesnt follow rules or directions and does everything he knows hes not supposed to and is so sad when he gets in trouble. I hate punishing him. I hate seeing his sad little face when he says im sorry mommy...I hate losing my patience with him. I hate being frustrated cause I know he is to. so changes must me made. I dont like the mommy I am becoming and I know they dont either.
I hope all these changes will help....I hope we can all find some fun staying inside. RSV and flu season is about until basically april so we have a looong road ahead of us. but anything to keep gummi bear ssafe and I know next year will be better......im not sure if this blog made any sense or not. its been a tough day. thats all for now
until next time......
Monday, October 15, 2012
phew! a loooong monday!!!
I know I always hear everyone say "yep I got a case of the mondays" but when you are a stay at home mom I feel like all your days mesh together and monday can suck just as much as thursday....and friday doesnt really mean much cause you are still on call saturday and sunday so I guess that saying doesnt really apply to me. not important or relevant to the post I just thought about that
anywho it was a GREAT monday!!!! I got to spend alllllll day with one bad ass chick who I adore and who has a pretty kick ass name....Jen :) lol its is so rare to find someone that you can spend hours and hours with and not get sick of or run out of things to talk about but I have found that in a few people in my life. Anyway we got to hang out all day watch the kids play, yell at the kids to stop hitting eachother, make fun of her husband (mine was at work so he didnt get the joy of being made fun of) and then jen and I got to break free of the children and go.....wait for it.....its really good.....GROCERY SHOPPING!!!! Yes tis a sad day folks when a woman gets excited to go grocery shopping hahahahhaha but I actually love grocery shopping. I love seeing how much im going to save at the end....its the little things people learn to appreciate them!
oooooooo one thing that was really cool is they were having like clearance on bakery items because they were getting a big shipment so like everything was .99!!!! seriously you have no idea how happy I was. Got lots of rolls and some sweet stuff for my hubby and some treats for the kids. I bought a lot so im going to freeze some...which brings me to another point....I bought a food saver for hubby last year...I think Christmas and seriously that thing is the best investment ever!!!! If you like to bargain shop or are a hunter (which I am actually totally against by the way) you should get one!
but back to the point.....ok I didnt really have a point so back to grocery shopping....Jen helped me with my weight watchers goals and pointed out food that were low in points and good for me so I feel like I can tackle this weight watchers thing and not starve. Today was pretty easy. Here is is 11:30 at night and I think I still have or so points left and I dont feel hungry. Made an AWESOME turkey burger for din din (seriously jen those burgers and the non bun bun thingys we bought were amazing!!!) and even had a piece of fudge.....yes I had a piece of fudge and it cost me 3 points but guess what it was WORTH IT!!!! lol
I got some diapers in the mail today which was another fun highlight of my day.....so I cloth diaper and I am obsessed with it!!!! There are so many cutee prints and styles to try its so hard not to buy them all! I feel like I need to get a job to support this habit.....but I guess its better then being addicted to crack hahahahaha
anytime I get something in the mail thats not bills makes me so excited!!! I wish I could be a pen pal to someone or had money to send all my friends packages cause seriously I love getting stuff in the mail and im sure other people do to. its like your birthday or Christmas you just cant help but be excited! especially if you arent expecting it then that is the best!!!!
I realize this post also doesnt really have apoint and hopefully as I get more into the blog I will have more to talk about or post but really this is to help me have a schedule, be accountable and just document what life is like because it is so easy to forget.
If anyone has any good weight watchers recipes they want to share then share them on here!!!
Until next time.....
anywho it was a GREAT monday!!!! I got to spend alllllll day with one bad ass chick who I adore and who has a pretty kick ass name....Jen :) lol its is so rare to find someone that you can spend hours and hours with and not get sick of or run out of things to talk about but I have found that in a few people in my life. Anyway we got to hang out all day watch the kids play, yell at the kids to stop hitting eachother, make fun of her husband (mine was at work so he didnt get the joy of being made fun of) and then jen and I got to break free of the children and go.....wait for it.....its really good.....GROCERY SHOPPING!!!! Yes tis a sad day folks when a woman gets excited to go grocery shopping hahahahhaha but I actually love grocery shopping. I love seeing how much im going to save at the end....its the little things people learn to appreciate them!
oooooooo one thing that was really cool is they were having like clearance on bakery items because they were getting a big shipment so like everything was .99!!!! seriously you have no idea how happy I was. Got lots of rolls and some sweet stuff for my hubby and some treats for the kids. I bought a lot so im going to freeze some...which brings me to another point....I bought a food saver for hubby last year...I think Christmas and seriously that thing is the best investment ever!!!! If you like to bargain shop or are a hunter (which I am actually totally against by the way) you should get one!
but back to the point.....ok I didnt really have a point so back to grocery shopping....Jen helped me with my weight watchers goals and pointed out food that were low in points and good for me so I feel like I can tackle this weight watchers thing and not starve. Today was pretty easy. Here is is 11:30 at night and I think I still have or so points left and I dont feel hungry. Made an AWESOME turkey burger for din din (seriously jen those burgers and the non bun bun thingys we bought were amazing!!!) and even had a piece of fudge.....yes I had a piece of fudge and it cost me 3 points but guess what it was WORTH IT!!!! lol
I got some diapers in the mail today which was another fun highlight of my day.....so I cloth diaper and I am obsessed with it!!!! There are so many cutee prints and styles to try its so hard not to buy them all! I feel like I need to get a job to support this habit.....but I guess its better then being addicted to crack hahahahaha
anytime I get something in the mail thats not bills makes me so excited!!! I wish I could be a pen pal to someone or had money to send all my friends packages cause seriously I love getting stuff in the mail and im sure other people do to. its like your birthday or Christmas you just cant help but be excited! especially if you arent expecting it then that is the best!!!!
I realize this post also doesnt really have apoint and hopefully as I get more into the blog I will have more to talk about or post but really this is to help me have a schedule, be accountable and just document what life is like because it is so easy to forget.
If anyone has any good weight watchers recipes they want to share then share them on here!!!
Until next time.....
Sunday, October 14, 2012
heres a window to my day
Today was a pretty good day. Didnt get a whole lot of sleep last night cause of Gummi but last night we did family movie night.
I love our family movie nights because it is all of us snuggled in the living room on an air mattress with popcorn and drinks and cuddles. Last night we didnt really watch a movie we caught up on Dr.Who....yes our kids like Dr.Who cause they are awesome!!!!!
But back to today..we all slept in (thank you black out curtains) and then mommy cleaned for most of the day....The kiddos and hubby helped but they made a fun trip to wal mart while I stayed home.
Its so weird that with a baby you would really think they didnt take up that much time....yes im aware that sounds horrible but hear me out....they eat, sleep, poop and pee......thats it. they dont talk, walk or make a mess so you would think the job was fairly easy.....well ms Aura today decided she was going to fight every single nap lol so what should have only taken me a couple hours to clean took alllllll day. I dont mind cause she is adorable and if she wants me to nurse her to sleep well im totally ok with that. After not having her home for 7 weeks I think its safe to say I would do anything that little girl wants. Right now as im typing this she is nursing and looking up at me like "Thanks Mom.....this is awesome milk" or maybe something sweeter like "Mom youre the bestest ever and I love you so much" either way she looks at me and my heart melts.
I made the decision today that I am starting weight watchers tomorrow. Little known fact but I have always had major body image issues....I have always thought I was huge and over weight even when I was skin and bones and way to tiny. Its something that I deal with everyday and even though I have tried dieting and losing weight I always get discouraged easily and give up leaving me in the same hole I was in before. its a vicious cycle. I eat because im sad and im sad because I eat. so i amde the decision today that I am starting weight watchers tomorrow. and im aware you can pretty much eat whatever you want on weight watchers as long as you count the points but I dont want to just skate by on points I want to make a lifestyle change. so I had to have one last pig out...I tried to talk myself out of it but I just couldnt....now I feel guilty (see vicious cycle) but im going to use that motivation tomorrow when i want to eat something bad.
I have a HORRIBLE sweet tooth...seriously I crave sugar....its a big issue. so im going to be looking for and trying out tasty recipes that are healthy and of course im going to blog about them.
Why am I going on and on about me starting weight watchers like you all care???? well mostly because if I announce it on this blog and on my facebook then I sort of have to stick to it....accountability......so if you see me eating crap or hear about it I expect someone to say something to me. It takes a village to raise a child....well it takes a village to talk the fat kid down from the cake...so help a fat kid out k?
anyway we are about to put our kiddos into bed and me and the hubs and little gummi bear are going to watch the season premier of the walking dead.....yes our 11 week old is going to watch the walking dead...she aint scared of no zombies!!!!! Have a pleasant evening everyone!!!
Until next time.......
I love our family movie nights because it is all of us snuggled in the living room on an air mattress with popcorn and drinks and cuddles. Last night we didnt really watch a movie we caught up on Dr.Who....yes our kids like Dr.Who cause they are awesome!!!!!
But back to today..we all slept in (thank you black out curtains) and then mommy cleaned for most of the day....The kiddos and hubby helped but they made a fun trip to wal mart while I stayed home.
Its so weird that with a baby you would really think they didnt take up that much time....yes im aware that sounds horrible but hear me out....they eat, sleep, poop and pee......thats it. they dont talk, walk or make a mess so you would think the job was fairly easy.....well ms Aura today decided she was going to fight every single nap lol so what should have only taken me a couple hours to clean took alllllll day. I dont mind cause she is adorable and if she wants me to nurse her to sleep well im totally ok with that. After not having her home for 7 weeks I think its safe to say I would do anything that little girl wants. Right now as im typing this she is nursing and looking up at me like "Thanks Mom.....this is awesome milk" or maybe something sweeter like "Mom youre the bestest ever and I love you so much" either way she looks at me and my heart melts.
I made the decision today that I am starting weight watchers tomorrow. Little known fact but I have always had major body image issues....I have always thought I was huge and over weight even when I was skin and bones and way to tiny. Its something that I deal with everyday and even though I have tried dieting and losing weight I always get discouraged easily and give up leaving me in the same hole I was in before. its a vicious cycle. I eat because im sad and im sad because I eat. so i amde the decision today that I am starting weight watchers tomorrow. and im aware you can pretty much eat whatever you want on weight watchers as long as you count the points but I dont want to just skate by on points I want to make a lifestyle change. so I had to have one last pig out...I tried to talk myself out of it but I just couldnt....now I feel guilty (see vicious cycle) but im going to use that motivation tomorrow when i want to eat something bad.
I have a HORRIBLE sweet tooth...seriously I crave sugar....its a big issue. so im going to be looking for and trying out tasty recipes that are healthy and of course im going to blog about them.
Why am I going on and on about me starting weight watchers like you all care???? well mostly because if I announce it on this blog and on my facebook then I sort of have to stick to it....accountability......so if you see me eating crap or hear about it I expect someone to say something to me. It takes a village to raise a child....well it takes a village to talk the fat kid down from the cake...so help a fat kid out k?
anyway we are about to put our kiddos into bed and me and the hubs and little gummi bear are going to watch the season premier of the walking dead.....yes our 11 week old is going to watch the walking dead...she aint scared of no zombies!!!!! Have a pleasant evening everyone!!!
Until next time.......
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